And it creates such a poor image of him to me, the stereotype of man who does this kind of thing is quite negative and I'm associating it with him and I feel so bad. I'm not sure about my position on prostitution, but the whole sex tourism thing disgusted me. I couldn't say anhything but this disturbed me. I'm not even sure how we arrived at this, and he mentioned it as something he was half-ashamed of doing but still somewhat a fun "boys" things. However, recently, we were talking about a couple of trips he took to Asia years ago (way before we met) with friends and he mentioned visits to brothels and even using prostitutes. Our relationship is really good, and I feel really content with that, and that's why I'm putting up with he long distance. I really desire someone I can admire, and he check this in so many ways. I always looked up to him, and this was something very important for me in a partner. I am fine with that, since he is from North Europe and it's the norm there that those things take long time. We are together for almost 3 years, the last 2 of them long distance meeting every other month, we discussed marriage once I can move back to his country (in a year or so, due to work reasons), but there isn't any official proposal or anything. What can I do? Is it too late? Do I fake it until I make it? Am I going to be stuck as this awful, miserable person forever? I don’t know why but I have such a hard time swallowing my pride (always have) and submitting to him. I’ve been reading RPW and listening to Laura Doyle’s podcast and I get excited to implement the strategies and become a better wife but I always end up reverting back to this awful version of myself. I want to salvage our marriage but I don’t even know where to start. My libido has tanked so I rarely initiate sex. The only time we have with each other is after the kids go to bed and by then all I want to do is veg out. I give my all to my kids and have not made him a priority. I absolutely have NOT been a soft place to land. Being in mom groups with other stay at home moms complaining about the same things definitely hasn’t helped, and made me feel entitled to my constant complaining. ![]() Instead of thanking him for all he does for us, he’s met with constant complaints from me about being overwhelmed, not having enough time and not having more help with the kids and around the house. I’m not fun to be around and I know it but I just can’t seem to snap myself out of it. Even though staying at home with my kids is what I want, dealing with small children all day, lack of sleep and lack of time for myself has put me in an almost permanent bad mood. I’ve been extremely ungrateful and unappreciative. We had a pretty serious financial crisis 3 years ago (long story short my husband got extremely screwed over by a business partner on a side business that he had) and lost a condo and a house that he worked really, really hard for and I know he’s been feeling the pressure to make the money back. I’m a SAHM and my husband works hard to support us. ![]() I don’t even know where to begin with our issues but so much of it is my fault. Things have been extremely rocky lately and I feel like we’re heading towards divorce. I (30F) and my husband (33M) have been married for 5 years with two kids under the age of 4.
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